Fortini, grammatical mistakes, and myxomatosis scares.

Fortini quoted me on Shithawks. How embarrassing that he quoted from a grammatically poor piece of text.

In the above quote I missed an apostrophe from - it's, and the possessive apostrophe from - Auntie's. Expect more bad grammar, misused quotations, inappropriate metaphors and obviously made-up words coming at your ridiculous face via the medium of this blog for the foreseeable future. C4 also quoted the only line I have seriously considered removing due to the possibility of offending Ratty. I eventually thought-fuck it, Ratty calls me a goth plenty. Fortini has changed blog formats from Wordpress to Tumblr to shake things up a bit. I want to see more modded BMX shit, Fortini has nearly completed his welding qualification and he's been promising a fully functioning sidehack for too long now.

I was riding home around 12 o'clock on Monday in the dark after the Earth gig on my road bike. I had been drinking for a good few hours and had consumed around 7 pints of ale which is a lot for me. On the bicycle journey home I can remember weaving haphazardly up some of the roads, I can remember seeing 10 or so youths standing around a flaming mattress underneath the Metro bridge, I can also remember noticing a semi-crushed bunny rabbit a little too late on the dark roads next to Whickham Thorns. It was dark, I was drunk, I was moving quite quickly, I'm still certain that the rabbit was twitching when I rolled over it with both my wheels. Road wheels are thin compared to that of a cars and I felt them slice the rabbit's body quite deeply. The sensation transmitted through the wheels and frame of the bike, and also sonically, was fairly disgusting and of the most squelchy and lumpy kind. Not pleasant. I didn't have the stomach to turn around and finish the rabbit off with a rock, so the poor guy probably had quite a night before reaching his final demise.

In the light of day (Tuesday) I inspected my bike with a slight hangover only to find thick and dark red blood globules all over the chainstays. I nervously checked further discovering more huge globules of blood on the underside of the toptube. In this bigger globby patch of blood was lodged a thin bonelike stand with rancid brown sinew protruding from the end. I don't clean my bike very often but I instantly decided that I must in this case. I went to the kitchen looking for a damp cloth but got sidetracked making a cup of tea. I immediately forgot about the horror scene bicycle for the rest of the day. I ended up riding to work the following day (Wednesday) with the rabbit's entrails and bodily fluids still covering my newish blue paint job.