My local skatepark is 3 miles away and is a fabricated metal monstrosity. It is plagued by clueless and cheeky micro scooterists. The layout is beyond unimaginative. Some of the metal sheeting is lifting up making it dangerous to ride. It's covered in broken glass. Every corner reeks of piss. The park at Whickham Thorns has few saving graces they are; through the week and in school time there is never anyone there and it has a pleasant setting in a wooded and country area with awesome views down the valley to Newcastle.
Overview of the driveways. |
"What kind of bike is that?"
No hello mind you, or how you doing, or hey nice day for it, just straight in for the kill. I replied as I always do to this question "A BMX."
"Nah I mean what kind of BMX?"
"A Kink"
"Oh"
"Have you heard of Kink?"
"No"
I turned about face to continue riding but the scooterist had more to say.
"How long have you been riding?"
Again I replied the same way I always do to this question "Since about 3 o'clock."
"No I mean how many years"
"Oh, about 18."
At this point the young scooterist seemed satisfied. Now I realise I was a little cheeky and patronising in answering his questions but after you've answered them for the millionth time, well you can imagine it gets a little tedious.
I call this quater the meat slicer. |
ABC, another bike crew, get it? |
"Do a 540, Do a Tailwhip, Do a barspin"
I'm not some circus performer, neither am I at the park sorely for the amusement of slightly inebriated 15 year olds. Why does this kid presume he can control me like a freestyle puppet.
"Do a Backflip, Do an 820."
820, I found this particularily amusing as it showed a complete ignorance of freestyle and mathematics.
Eventually I had to confront him as he was begining to ruin my session and I said "Can you stop shouting tricks at me, I don't shout tricks at you, Shut the fuck up."
The kid was silent for about a minute and then he continued to shout out "Do you know Dyno?"
I didn't answer.
Because I didn't answer him instantly he began shouting more implausable tricks at me that he must have learned the names of from watching nitro circus.
At this point I got mad and said "Shut the fuck up you squeeky, no balls, can't do nothing, pussy, what's the matter? too pussy to ride the skatepark yourself, might get hurt might you, fucking pussy."
The thing is if you heckle someone you are obviously disrespecting what they're doing. This kid wasn't even riding the park so what gave him the right to heckle me? I now felt bad for loosing it and shouting at this kid and at the back of my mind I thought I probably looked like an asshole in front of all the well behaved and impressionable scooterists also using the park.
I've had a night to think about what I should have done instead and I think next time I'm in this situation I'm going to calmly go up to the kid and say "Do you know when you heckle someone that what you're doing is a form of disrespect? What do you do to people that disrespect you?"
Depending on the kid, his answer would be different but I'm willing to bet in this case the kid would have said either: beat them up, or get them beaten up by my brothers cos I'm too pussy to do it myself.
And then I suppose my response would be "Well in that case should I punch you in the face for heckling me?"
No
"No that would be totally inappropriate wouldn't it, it would be a complete overreaction. Do you mind if I ask you what you do with your spare time except of course drink cheap lager and heckle people?"
"Nothing."
"That's what I figured, you think doing nothing is an admirable thing and is deserving of respect do you?"
"HMM"
"Because I don't, In future if You're going to heckle at least have the skills in the bank to back it up."
But I didn't say this at the time because in the heat of the moment it's hard to think clearly and come up with something constructive, also the kid would have just talked over me anyway. So Fuck him. I'm not a school teacher anyway.
Its not all bad, one of the kids who was on work experience from last weeks post about Mike Hoder and disrespected Mat Hoffman amongst other things sent this letter in to work and totally redeemed himself.
What's most impressive about this is, he sent his thanks in the form of a real paper letter, no email or tweet or text message here, what a legend.
Harry, afraid of the real cheesecake. |
how long have you been riding? - since about 3 o clock. mate that absolubtly creased me! im going to use that one. love the post like keep up the good work!
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